Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
