She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
