It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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