i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
