Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
