Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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