Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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