dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
