My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
