Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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