Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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