I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
