My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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