just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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