its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
