You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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