If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
