Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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