there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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