what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
