I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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