I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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