She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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