Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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