Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
