Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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