just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
