How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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