JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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