did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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