WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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