woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
