just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
