honey bunches of taint.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
