Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
