He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
