Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
