I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
