when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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