If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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