they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
