Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize