i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
