He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
