I CAN MOONWALK!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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