Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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