I feel great
I just peed on a car
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
