i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
