Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
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how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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