is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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