I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
