Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
