Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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