somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
