Little spoons don't ask big questions
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
