Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
