i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
