don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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