where am i from again
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
