yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
